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A Blank Canvas

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Happy Holidays! Well, after 9 months of living in Bali and Thailand and visiting 8 different countries, I am back in Los Angeles. Now that I am back, I am reminded with how I had a difficult time with my decision to leave. I didn’t know what would happen to me if I left my comfort zone and headed out into the unknown. I didn’t know if I would make it out there alone, living in another country with a foreign language. But looking back on the whole journey I am so grateful that I took it. I have changed and expanded in so many ways and now know that if I can do that, I can do anything.


I think that is the way with the unknown, with setting out to do something you have never done before, with something you have always wanted to do. We let fear get in the way and sometimes we let the fear take control and we stay put right where we are instead of taking that step towards our goal, our dream, or what we truly want. I could have come up with a long list of reasons not to go do the one thing I so badly wanted to, but the reality is I knew the pain of not knowing would be so much worse. So with a little bit of money in my pocket, I decided to take that leap of faith and set out on this world traveling journey alone.


What I gained from making that decision I will carry with me forever. I learned that no matter where I go, I am taken care of if I just allow myself to trust that. If I allow myself to let go of the fear of HOW it will all work out and just trust, it always works out. Fear and resistance will always play their part in our life until we are aware of them and go about transforming fear and resistance into a deep love and understanding of all there is. Everywhere I went someone looked out for me, as if I had little guardian angels all over the planet. Even when I had my motor bike accident, so many people helped me by giving me different ointments to care for and even bandage my wounds. I learned how to live with barely anything, just what can fit in a backpack and that that is enough. I learned that I can make a home any where I go and be comfortable, it is just a state of mind. That to me was so important, because I think we get very caught up in material things and think that we need all of those things to be happy. I learned to be happy with next to nothing. It does not mean that I do not want material things and that I think that people that have a lot are not truly happy, it just means that I learned how to live without those things and now I can be even more grateful when I have them and see that it is not the thing that makes me happy, but that happiness comes from deep inside me.


I learned that as soon as we get so busy trying to “figure it out,” something will knock us down and put us out for a week so we are unable to figure anything out except how to go deep inside and find peace even in the chaos. I learned that after you get knocked down, you get up and keep going, this time with more peace and more trust than before. I have learned to let people be who they are. You can not change them and you waste so much time and energy attempting to do so. Allow people to be who they are, anything else is just judgement on our part. The minute you let go of trying to change others, there is a tremendous sense of peace and relaxation. You feel free in a lot of ways. The only way we can change others is by changing our self. By coming into our own highest vibration of joy, gratitude and appreciation others around us see this and want to know what we are up to. Why are you so happy when the world is crumbling around you? Why are you so happy when the economy is bad? Why are you so joyful when you do not currently have money coming in, or a place to live? How can you be joyful? Well the answer is to look at life not as it is, but as you want it to be. If all we do is think about how we do not currently have money, love, the job of our dreams, then that causes frustration, stress and anger. Law of Attraction says that what we put out, we get back, so we get more stress, frustration and anger and continue with a cycle of the same. If we think and speak in terms of what we want, regardless of the presenting circumstance, then we attract that too us. It is a law! So, I came back to LA without a car, house or job. I got a car beyond my imagination and a friend let me rent his Mercedes Benz for a very reasonable price. The power of thinking beyond our imaginations!


Can we begin to think and speak in terms of what we want? Think of everything in terms of energy, in terms of vibration. What you speak has a very strong vibration, so if you are constantly speaking in negative terms, there is a good chance there are some negative circumstances in your life. Your thoughts also cause a vibration that goes out into the universe, again everything is energy, so if you are thinking in negative terms there is a good chance there is some negativity in your realm. How can you change it? Well the first step is awareness. If you are aware of what you speak and think, that is a huge step. The next step is to begin to change your thought patterns to catch yourself when a negative one comes in and to cancel it out and replace it with a positive. To catch yourself when you speak in terms of what you don’t want, or negative statements. Then begin to switch them into positive. You can learn to do this by meditation and visualization. Lastly, you begin to focus on what you want through visualizing that exact thing. You stay focused on what you want and that becomes your one and only job. All throughout your day, continual reminders of what you want.


I believe we spend a lot of time focusing on the actions of other people and how they should be different, I am speaking from experience here, but if we allow others to be who they are and focus that much energy on ourselves and what we want, we can change our life. Creating unity within is the idea that as we find our own peace and let go of all fear and resistance and become fully present in our hearts we can become the change we wish to see. As we create our own unity within, our external world begins to become more unified as well. So we literally become the change we want to see. The world around us changes as we let go of fear and resistance.


Then no matter what it is that you want, no matter what your presenting circumstances are, you can have it, but not until you think and know that you can. So the journey continues now back in Los Angeles. So many exciting new ideas and projects to look forward to. A new chapter and a clean slate. I can create anything I want on this blank canvas before me. I am excited, joyful and grateful for all of the beautiful people in my life that have helped me along the way. I thank you all so much.


Love and light,



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