Coaching Exercise for those of you struggling with toxic people in your life…
Why am I doing this? Because you deserve to be free, even if you can’t totally be free of the person, you can be free in your mind, free from your own internal thoughts that plague you with stress and worry. You can learn to let go of what you can’t control. For some this is their deepest practice, because some of you really are in some tough situations and yet, we make those situations worse if we are putting a bunch of resistance and fear towards it, not to mention what the stress (both internal and external) does to our physical health and well-being.
Holding onto resentment and anger is chaining yourself to the past and holding you there.
I have several clients that are struggling with tough relationships in their life. I mean toxic, abusive people in their life that they can’t get rid of because of having children together. So today, I decided to share a little piece of advice that I often give my clients who are holding a lot of resentment and anger (and rightly so at this unkind behavior towards them and their kids).
We all know that holding resentment and anger only hurts us, not the person we wish it would hurt. The key is to find a way to forgiveness, which is not easy especially when you are still in the mess with that person. Day by day doing your own inner work to find forgiveness with yourself first and maybe someday with that person, you begin to free yourself from the chains of the past. One way to do this is to write a letter to that person that you don’t send.
Here is what I sent my client in reference to an email she received that was not good…
Deep inhale and exhale let it go. You can’t control this person, but you can control how you react. Keep your head up and push the delete button and let it go. You are doing nothing wrong and he has nothing to “fight” you on. But it is interesting that he uses this word too. You are both fighting. I think if you stop fighting, energetically he will too.
I would also suggest writing what I call the “bitch letter,” if you haven’t yet. Write a letter to him, no matter how long of all the things he has done be as mean as you possibly can and want to. Take as much time as you need with it and then burn it, do it in a little sacred way where you say to yourself “I now release you and all of this anger and resentment” as you burn it. See the smoke going up as the energy being released. I know you have a lot of anger and may not think that it can be released this way, but you would be surprised how much better you feel after getting it out!
Sending you lots of love and light today.
Let me know if this served you today and if you were able to try the exercise if you felt a release. I would love to hear from you!
Btw, we do this work in sessions with myself and my team. Let me know if you want to do some releasing! erin@purelightwellness.com
