I went hiking in my own back yard. I got lost. There is no direct path from my backyard to Topanga State Park. You just hike and go with it and find a path and make a path. I knew I needed a marker coming back so I looked at this house in the distance and knew that my place was in the line of that house. That was my only marker, a house quite far from mine but in alignment with my house. I set off and discovered some great new things right literally in my own backyard. I watched a bee on a flower, moving from flower to flower to get all the goodness it could get from it. I found loads of wild sage growing, saw little wild flowers growing and a new plant that I had never seen before. The path that I took is where no one ever goes, so I was all alone hiking and it was serene and peaceful. I took time to stand and look out at the canyons and all the empty space and wish for rain and to see how far I have come and to look towards what I want in my life and what is next. I love how nature makes me so present. When there are no distractions, no people, no emails or phone calls to make. When there is no one to talk to, I am forced to just watch and be. To have the time to watch a bee moving from flower to flower is something we should all make time for once in a while. The miracles that are happening all around us every moment of every day that only exist if we take the time to notice them.As I came back down from the hike I began to realize that I was lost. I walked straight up to a fence and could not go any further, so I had to hike back up the way I came. I tried another path and it was the wrong one and I could go no further. I tried several different paths to have the same results. I knew there was nothing to worry about, but my mind starting wandering a bit. It was pretty hot by this point, I only had a little bit of water left and I was getting hungry. I thought what if I can’t find the path back? Because it is not a clear cut path, there are lots of trees and shrubs, so you literally can not go any further in places. I was stuck.
It reminded me a lot of my life. I have tried so many paths only to find they never took me any where that I really wanted to go and I felt empty afterwards. I have tried different paths of work, different paths of finding myself, different ways to live my life and different ways of dealing with my “issues.” Many of these paths led to no where.
I decided in my current lost state to say a prayer. I was not in a state of panic, but I was hyper aware that I needed some guidance to get back home. I said “God, I surrender to you, I surrender to this situation. I trust you, please lead the way.” I was literally guided to the path that lead me right back to my home in no time at all. I allowed myself to be open to the divine helping me, I trusted that I was not alone in doing so and I put my life in God’s hands. We always think to pray when we are in a crisis, but this is a great prayer to use everyday first thing in the morning. Allow your life to be divinely guided and see what miracles show up for you in each day.
The Course in Miracles says that “miracles occur everyday, if they are not happening something has gone wrong.” That something that has gone wrong is us getting in our own way, blocking the miracle because we think we know better and can figure things out by ourself. Just trust that your life is divinely guided and then step back and watch how quickly everything you want lines up for you. But if you allow doubt or fear to creep in, you block it yet again. It is not an easy task to let go completely and have faith, but it is the most important job we have. Just have faith.
Getting lost on my hike made me see that sometimes we don’t always pick the right path for ourself. We can get lost. But if we open up and allow that divine force to work through us and with us and Trust we will always find our way home.
My Journey with Chronic Fatigue
I have dealt with chronic fatigue for years, I have managed it. Sometimes it is really bad and sometimes it is not so bad. It