I recently had to go into the spa that I work at part time on a day when I was not working to pick up some products, as I was suffering from a bad case of seasonal allergies. I went in and everyone was busy and didn’t pay much attention to me. That I did not mind. Now I was already feeling sensitive from my allergy attack, so I was in a heightened state. My boss walked by me with a client she was giving a consult to and barely said anything, my immediate thought is She is Mad at Me. Even though there was no reason for her to be mad at me that is where my mind went first. Then a co-worker friend of mine walked by me in a hurry and without much emotion said “feel better.” My first thought then was she is mad at me for not being able to work because of my allergies and she probably had to cover my shift. I got in the car and felt defeated and like I was in trouble. Then my higher self, the one that doesn’t get caught up in silly little games of deception that the ego would like us to, said “Wait STOP!” They are busy people, my boss didn’t say much because she was looking for a room to take the client that was following her into for a consult. My co-worker was in the middle of doing something and didn’t have time to stop and console me, which I did not need anyway! I saw then and there how easy it is to make everything about us. How easy it is to go into insecurity that the other person must be mad at me, wants to fire me, or thinks badly of me. All of this is based on nothing. Nothing but some weird story we have created in our mind, probably a story we have been using for years that came from childhood. Maybe we have not even been aware of it and have been secretly taking things personally for years.
So how do we not take things personally?
- Realize that other people are going through their own trials and tribulations and dealing in their own way. It really is never about us, it is mostly about how we each project our “stuff” onto the other person.
- Use Compassion (understanding what the other person is going through and not taking it personally) see that person as a child having a bad day. We are all just big kids anyway.
- When an irrational thought pops up, or if your first instinct is to go into insecurity because of how another person is acting stop and take a few deep breaths. Give your brain some oxygen to calm down and before you react.
- Do not react to what the other person is doing, no matter how crazy it may be. If you can keep calm and collected 9 times out of 10 the other person realizes they were projecting onto you and will work to correct that. But if you react now you are both playing with each other’s “stuff” and that is when things can get ugly. As they say be the bigger person and just go into a stillness. This takes a great amount of self restraint, but is well worth the effort. Give it a try