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The In-Between Moments…

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Life after camping in the desert, doing Kundalini yoga with community and having all meals cooked for you has been challenging.  3 days of life changing White Tantric Yoga and living simply make you question everything.  Why do I choose to live in a big city?  I can do what I do any where, why here?  How can I take my life to the next level?  To do what I do and be successful I really have to take a step back and look at my life.  If I really want to help others live their best life, then I have to figure out how to live mine.
It has been hard for me to pinpoint what it is that I really want to do.  I love to do so many things.  But as the pages of my life continue to turn I am getting more clarity.  I love helping people to create their best lives and clear anything out of the way from them doing that.  Using various tools like Kundalini yoga, Theta Healing and Intuitive Guidance, I have helped numerous people get clarity.  But yet, I struggle financially.  I struggle with living in situations that are less than what I desire, or want for myself, I have not been traveling like I enjoy doing.  I haven’t quite mastered living my best life.  And herein lies the problem.  Granted there are a lot of great options on the table, I see things I have wanted coming to fruition.  I am grateful.  But there is an underlying unrest.  A feeling of unrest I have felt my entire life.  A feeling like there is always more, more to do, be, see.  Just more.  The only time this unrest seems to leave me is if I am teaching, working with clients, traveling, or meditating.  The rest of the time, I deal with that feeling.  I have learned how to ignore it and sometimes it will go away, but it returns just as loud as it was before.  Reminding me to keep going.  But where?  I struggle with that feeling.  I feel like there may only be two ways of getting rid of it for good…1. to be a wondering gypsy  2. to be so busy doing my work of assisting others to live their best life that I do not have time for anything else!

It is in the in-between moments that I feel the unrest the most.  I suppose I am feeling it rather strong right now because I just moved out of my living situation, left my yoga studio and just got back from a long inner journey retreat.  I am currently upshifting my life in a new and different direction.  Something I enjoy doing, but also leaves me restless and uncertain.  I am currently experiencing the in-between moment of life upshift.  It was not until I moved out of my living situation that I realized, how have I lived like that for so long?  I thrive in my own space and not having that for so long I guess I didn’t even realize that I missed it!

So my life is changing.  It is taking a major upshift into different and amazing!  I am completely open to where I am being directed and grateful for this time to take a little breather and pause and see what opens up.  I have learned to trust in a new way.  I have learned to surrender and let go in a new way.  I have watched miracles occur when I do that.  Although it is a continual job for me to focus my energies this way, I know it works.

To end, I am the only one getting in my own way.  I have to let go of how I look at money and where it comes from.  I have to offer my gifts as just that…gifts.  I have to stay open and trust.  I have to listen.  The inner voice is always directing me, I must get quiet enough to listen.

To my continued writing, which frees my soul and opens my heart…

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