Life after camping in the desert, doing Kundalini yoga with community and having all meals cooked for you has been challenging. 3 days of life changing White Tantric Yoga and living simply make you question everything. Why do I choose to live in a big city? I can do what I do any where, why here? How can I take my life to the next level? To do what I do and be successful I really have to take a step back and look at my life. If I really want to help others live their best life, then I have to figure out how to live mine.
It has been hard for me to pinpoint what it is that I really want to do. I love to do so many things. But as the pages of my life continue to turn I am getting more clarity. I love helping people to create their best lives and clear anything out of the way from them doing that. Using various tools like Kundalini yoga, Theta Healing and Intuitive Guidance, I have helped numerous people get clarity. But yet, I struggle financially. I struggle with living in situations that are less than what I desire, or want for myself, I have not been traveling like I enjoy doing. I haven’t quite mastered living my best life. And herein lies the problem. Granted there are a lot of great options on the table, I see things I have wanted coming to fruition. I am grateful. But there is an underlying unrest. A feeling of unrest I have felt my entire life. A feeling like there is always more, more to do, be, see. Just more. The only time this unrest seems to leave me is if I am teaching, working with clients, traveling, or meditating. The rest of the time, I deal with that feeling. I have learned how to ignore it and sometimes it will go away, but it returns just as loud as it was before. Reminding me to keep going. But where? I struggle with that feeling. I feel like there may only be two ways of getting rid of it for good…1. to be a wondering gypsy 2. to be so busy doing my work of assisting others to live their best life that I do not have time for anything else!
It is in the in-between moments that I feel the unrest the most. I suppose I am feeling it rather strong right now because I just moved out of my living situation, left my yoga studio and just got back from a long inner journey retreat. I am currently upshifting my life in a new and different direction. Something I enjoy doing, but also leaves me restless and uncertain. I am currently experiencing the in-between moment of life upshift. It was not until I moved out of my living situation that I realized, how have I lived like that for so long? I thrive in my own space and not having that for so long I guess I didn’t even realize that I missed it!
So my life is changing. It is taking a major upshift into different and amazing! I am completely open to where I am being directed and grateful for this time to take a little breather and pause and see what opens up. I have learned to trust in a new way. I have learned to surrender and let go in a new way. I have watched miracles occur when I do that. Although it is a continual job for me to focus my energies this way, I know it works.
To end, I am the only one getting in my own way. I have to let go of how I look at money and where it comes from. I have to offer my gifts as just that…gifts. I have to stay open and trust. I have to listen. The inner voice is always directing me, I must get quiet enough to listen.
To my continued writing, which frees my soul and opens my heart…
